Trying to make Co-Parenting work after a divorce can be really stressful and difficult. It might be worse if you have a touchy relationship with your ex-partner. You might feel conflicted about your partner and it might be new to be all by yourself but if you choose to go beyond your past relationship with your ex-partner, you will be able to provide your child with a healthy environment to grow in.
- Move away from the anger and hurt
For co –parenting you need to make sure that you put aside the grudges, anger and emotions that you held towards your ex. This is about your children’s emotions and their mental well being which can only be assured when you are in the right state of mind and that is only possible if you move away from whatever grudges that you held against your past relationship with your ex. This is definitely not about suppressing your emotions but just do not take it out on the kids. Vent out about your emotions to your friends or start consulting a therapist but what is important is to work through that bitterness and resentment so that you can stay focused on your kid.
- Communication with the Co-Parent
Communication between the parents is really important because this is how kids will not be used as messengers. It is almost similar to using kids in arguments. So just talk to the co-parent and maintain effective and clear communication to avoid any misunderstandings. Talk to them with respect, maintain a level of cordiality and make requests if needed because that is the polite way to go through the things. Also keep in mind that communication is not just about putting forward you requests and needs but also listening to the other person and what they want to tell you. Remember if you have decided to get involved in a co-parenting set up with your ex-partner then he must equally care for the child and might have opinions about how your kid should be raised.
- Be considerate of each other’s schedules
Flexibility is another key feature for effective co-parenting. Visitation schedules and dividing the time between each other to see the kids is the bitter reality post divorce but you need to make the best of it and make sure that it does get to you. Kids do not like their parents fighting with each other over visitation schedule. So if you being more considerate about your Ex-Wife’s impromptu day trip with the kids will bring a smile on their faces then why not? Let them do it and have fun.